{"id":3277,"date":"2021-11-20T14:31:49","date_gmt":"2021-11-20T14:31:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/?p=3277"},"modified":"2021-11-20T14:32:09","modified_gmt":"2021-11-20T14:32:09","slug":"prirucka-pre-zmatenych-je-to-naozaj-laska","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/prirucka-pre-zmatenych-je-to-naozaj-laska\/","title":{"rendered":"Pr\u00edru\u010dka pre zm\u00e4ten\u00fdch: Je to naozaj l\u00e1ska?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Druhov l\u00e1sky je mnoho. Na to u\u017e pri\u0161li star\u00ed Gr\u00e9ci. Bavme sa o tej partnerskej. Mo\u017eno tieto riadky \u010d\u00edtate dychtivo, pripraven\u00ed n\u00e1js\u0165 odpove\u010f na ot\u00e1zku, ktor\u00e1 v\u00e1s u\u017e chv\u00ed\u013eu p\u00e1li. Mo\u017eno pozn\u00e1te odpove\u010f… no len pre istotu to chcete skontrolova\u0165… Milujete naozaj? \u010c\u00edtajte \u010falej.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ka\u017ed\u00e9mu z n\u00e1s sa nepodar\u00ed n\u00e1js\u0165 toho \u201eprav\u00e9ho\u201c alebo t\u00fa \u201eprav\u00fa\u201c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ak si nie ste ist\u00ed, tu s\u00fa niektor\u00e9 ot\u00e1zky, ktor\u00e9 sa mo\u017eno p\u00fdtate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

St\u00e1le na \u0148ho mysl\u00edte. T\u00fa\u017eite po \u0148om. Neviete sa ho naba\u017ei\u0165. Je pre v\u00e1s \u201ev\u0161etk\u00fdm\u201c.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sorry, \u017ee to nap\u00ed\u0161em tak zostra, ale toto, priatelia, je zamilovanos\u0165. Okrem toho ak na niekoho \u201est\u00e1le\u201c mysl\u00edte, m\u00f4\u017ee to znamena\u0165 aj to, \u017ee nie ste potom s\u00fastreden\u00ed na in\u00e9, \u010dasto d\u00f4le\u017eit\u00e9, veci.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u00e1ska by do v\u00e1\u0161ho \u017eivota mala sk\u00f4r ladne vk\u013aznu\u0165 a zapadn\u00fa\u0165, nemus\u00ed ho z\u00farivo uzurpova\u0165. L\u00e1ska je k\u013eudn\u00e1, nie zdrcuj\u00faca.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vid\u00edte s n\u00edm va\u0161u bud\u00facnos\u0165.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu\u017e, ke\u010f zatvor\u00edm o\u010di a budem si chv\u00ed\u013eu predstavova\u0165 svoju bud\u00facnos\u0165, dok\u00e1\u017eem si predstavi\u0165 toho kopec. Napr\u00edklad si viem predstavi\u0165 svojho partnera, s nov\u00fdm domom, labradora a tri neexistuj\u00face deti ako v reklame na poistenie. Viem si predstavi\u0165, \u017ee p\u00f4jdem kone\u010dne cestova\u0165 do Venzuely, alebo sa vyka\u0161lem na pr\u00e1cu a za\u010dnem ve\u0161ti\u0165 z tarotov\u00fdch kariet na pln\u00fd \u00fav\u00e4zok. To v\u0161ak e\u0161te neznamen\u00e1, \u017ee sa nie\u010do z toho re\u00e1lne stane, alebo \u017ee by som mala<\/em>. S t\u00fdmto predstavovan\u00edm bud\u00facnosti je toti\u017e jeden probl\u00e9m: rob\u00edme tak z l\u00e1sky ak\u00fasi hru na \u00fatek \u2013 \u0161abl\u00f3nu, pod\u013ea ktorej meriame, \u010di a ako ve\u013emi n\u00e1m do na\u0161ej fant\u00e1zie partner pasuje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je fajn ho vidie\u0165 vo svojej bud\u00facnosti. Nie v\u0161ak preto, lebo zkompletizuje v\u00e1\u0161 pl\u00e1n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chcete, aby bol st\u00e1le s vami.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toto je z\u00e1bavn\u00e9. Je mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee ste e\u0161te nikdy neboli v dlh\u0161om (zdravom) vz\u0165ahu. St\u00e1le <\/em>s vami je to k\u013e\u00fa\u010dov\u00e9 slovo. To, \u017ee niekto je pre v\u00e1s d\u00f4le\u017eitej\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e ostatn\u00ed je v poriadku. No niekedy ur\u010dite potrebujete \u010das iba pre seba. \u010cas na to, aby ste sa mohli venova\u0165 in\u00fdm \u010dinnostiam \u010di \u013eu\u010fom. Alebo len by\u0165. Ja nie my<\/em> \u2013 tento zvl\u00e1\u0161tny druh identity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ka\u017edop\u00e1dne si tie\u017e hne\u010f nemus\u00edte myslie\u0165, \u017ee to nie je l\u00e1ska, ak si potrebujete ob\u010das da\u0165 odstup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Urob\u00edte \u010doko\u013evek, aby ste na \u0148ho urobili dojem.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tak toto je tro\u0161ku znepokojuj\u00face. Pre\u010do sa tak \u00fapenlivo sna\u017e\u00edte? L\u00e1ska nie je o tom niekoho \u201eoh\u00fari\u0165\u201c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u017diarlite.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boj\u00edte sa, \u017ee ho strat\u00edte, alebo naopak, boj\u00edte sa, \u017ee u\u017e sama nebudete nikdy s in\u00fdm mu\u017eom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toto sa by sa dalo nazva\u0165 nedostatkom presved\u010denia alebo sebavedomia, no l\u00e1ska to nie je. Zdrav\u00e1 l\u00e1ska nie je strach, \u017ee o niekoho pr\u00eddeme. To je naviazanos\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u017diarlivos\u0165 tie\u017e nie je zrel\u00e1 l\u00e1ska. Je to sebal\u00e1ska. O v\u00e1s, nie o \u0148om.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mysl\u00edte si, \u017ee je kr\u00e1sny.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Naozaj? Toto m\u00e1 ur\u010dite v\u00fdborn\u00e9 prospekty do bud\u00facnosti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u017dartujem. Tie\u017e tu m\u00e1me do\u010dinenie so sebel\u00e1skou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je l\u00e1skav\u00fd.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par\u00e1da. Vyzer\u00e1 to tak, \u017ee va\u0161e emocion\u00e1lne potreby s\u00fa naplnen\u00e9. Ale \u010do tie jeho? To, \u017ee je l\u00e1skav\u00fd, znamen\u00e1, \u017ee to on<\/em> si zasl\u00fa\u017ei va\u0161u l\u00e1sku, no o tej va\u0161ej tu nie je re\u010d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je t\u00fdm najlep\u0161\u00edm z cel\u00e9ho d\u0148a.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu\u017e, tu z\u00e1vis\u00ed od toho, ako vyzer\u00e1 zvy\u0161ok v\u00e1\u0161ho d\u0148a. Ke\u010f ste po zvy\u0161ok d\u0148a ne\u0161\u0165astn\u00e9 a v\u00e1\u0161 partner je pre v\u00e1s naozajstnou o\u00e1zou, tak to nie je bohvie\u010do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asi je namieste poradi\u0165 v\u00e1m: dajte sa trochu dokopy, hm?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ak je v\u0161ak zvy\u0161ok v\u00e1\u0161ho d\u0148a skvel\u00fd, v tom pr\u00edpade blaho\u017eel\u00e1me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

D\u00e1vate mu prednos\u0165.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ke\u010f sa zauj\u00edmate o jeho potreby a fakt, \u017ee mu d\u00e1vate prednos\u0165 pred sebou v\u00e1s neob\u0165a\u017euje a nevy\u010derp\u00e1va \u2013 super.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ak v\u0161ak mus\u00edte robi\u0165 \u010dasto kompromisy v tom, \u010do sama chcete a potrebujete, alebo staviate svoju vlastn\u00fa hodnotu na b\u00e1ze toho, \u010di partnera dok\u00e1\u017eete urobi\u0165 \u0161\u0165astn\u00fdm \u2013 zamyslite sa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In\u0161piruje v\u00e1s.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skvel\u00e9. In\u0161piruj\u00fa v\u00e1s ur\u010dite aj mnoh\u00e9 in\u00e9 \u017eivotn\u00e9 vzory a osobnosti. To v\u0161ak neznamen\u00e1, \u017ee ich milujete. \u010ci?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Na slov\u00ed\u010dko o \u201et\u00fdch prav\u00fdch\u201c<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNie v\u0161etk\u00fdm sa n\u00e1m podar\u00ed n\u00e1js\u0165 si toho spr\u00e1vneho \u010dloveka\u201d, mysl\u00ed si filozof a sociol\u00f3g Alain de Botton. \u201cAle pravdepodobne sa n\u00e1m v\u0161etk\u00fdm podar\u00ed n\u00e1js\u0165 \u010dloveka, ktor\u00fd je dos\u0165 dobr\u00fd. A to je \u00faspech.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alain de Botton si mysl\u00ed, \u017ee m\u00e1lokto z n\u00e1s vie, ako milova\u0165. Toto znie ve\u013emi \u010dudne, ale pravdepodobne v\u0161etci, ktor\u00ed \u010d\u00edtaj\u00fa tento \u010dl\u00e1nok, by mali \u00eds\u0165 do akejsi \u0161koly l\u00e1sky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u010co? Rob\u00edte si srandu? L\u00e1ska je predsa in\u0161tinkt, je to cit,\u201d pravdepodobne namietate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nie, nie je, argumentuje de Botton.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je to zru\u010dnos\u0165. A je to zru\u010dnos\u0165, ktor\u00fa sa mus\u00edme nau\u010di\u0165. Je to zru\u010dnos\u0165, ktor\u00fa na\u0161a civiliz\u00e1cia odmieta pova\u017eova\u0165 za zru\u010dnos\u0165. M\u00e1me vraj len nasledova\u0165 pocity. Ke\u010f budete v\u017edy nasledova\u0165 len pocity, takmer ur\u010dite nakoniec urob\u00edte chybu, tvrd\u00ed de Botton, ktor\u00fd sa u\u017e roky venuje \u0161t\u00fadiu filozofie, hist\u00f3rie a sociol\u00f3gie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u010co teda nasledova\u0165, ak nie pocity?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Najprv si treba uvedomi\u0165 \u017ee je rozdiel medzi milova\u0165<\/em> a by\u0165<\/em> milovan\u00fd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0161etci za\u010d\u00edname \u017eivot tak, \u017ee sa u\u010d\u00edme o tom, ak\u00e9 to je, by\u0165 \u013e\u00faben\u00fd. By\u0165 milovan\u00fd je par\u00e1da. Je to t\u00e1 najlep\u0161ia \u010das\u0165. Ke\u010f n\u00e1m niekto rob\u00ed ra\u0148ajky a p\u00fdta sa, ako bolo v \u0161kole\u2026 Ke\u010f sme mali\u010dk\u00ed a niekto sa o n\u00e1s star\u00e1 a zab\u00e1va n\u00e1s cel\u00fd de\u0148, aj ke\u010f u\u017e pad\u00e1 na hubu a n\u00e1m sta\u010d\u00ed sa len usmia\u0165. Berieme l\u00e1sku ako automatiku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vyrast\u00e1me s t\u00fdm, \u017ee takto to bude aj v na\u0161ich dospel\u00fdch vz\u0165ahoch. Je to pochopite\u013en\u00e1 chyba. Je to aj tragick\u00e1 chyba. A vedie n\u00e1s k tomu, aby sme ned\u00e1vali pozor na to, \u010do od n\u00e1s t\u00e1 druh\u00e1 strana v rovnici na\u0161ej dospelej l\u00e1sky vlastne chce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u013d\u00fabi\u0165 je ochota interpretova\u0165 na povrchu odpudiv\u00e9 spr\u00e1vanie na\u0161ich partnerov, aby sme pri\u0161li na kore\u0148 ozajstn\u00fdm d\u00f4vodom, pre\u010do sa tak\u00e9to spr\u00e1vanie deje. Inak povedan\u00e9: milova\u0165 znamen\u00e1 aplikova\u0165 ve\u013ekorysos\u0165, interpretova\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ru\u017eov\u00e9 zatmenie<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Probl\u00e9mom je v\u0161ak, \u017ee \u017eijeme v romantickej kult\u00fare ktor\u00e1 d\u00e1va na piedest\u00e1l impulz. Ke\u010f pr\u00edde na l\u00e1sku, stane sa n\u00e1m nie\u010do o\u0161emetn\u00e9. Nemus\u00edte veri\u0165 na psychoterapiu alebo psychoanal\u00fdzu, aby ste si uvedomili, \u017ee sp\u00f4sob, ak\u00fdm v dospelosti milujete, je vystavan\u00fd na va\u0161ich spomienkach a sk\u00fasenostiach z detstva. Pr\u00e1ve v ranom detstve sa zrodil sp\u00f4sob, ak\u00fdm pre\u017e\u00edvate nehu, ve\u013ekorysos\u0165 \u010di milotu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rodi\u010dovsk\u00e1 l\u00e1ska prich\u00e1dzala v r\u00f4znych form\u00e1ch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u00e1ska, ktor\u00fa sme ochutnali ako deti, aj t\u00e1 najkraj\u0161ia, bola naviazan\u00e1 aj na z\u00e1\u017eitky, ktor\u00e9 boli spojen\u00e9 s pocitmi sklamania, mo\u017eno aj pon\u00ed\u017eenia. Na z\u00e1\u017eitky, kedy sa k n\u00e1m, rodi\u010d spr\u00e1val i drsne, vynadal n\u00e1m a sp\u00f4sobill, \u017ee sme sa c\u00edtili mali\u010dk\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In\u00fdmi slovami, pomerne ve\u013ea na\u0161ich z\u00e1\u017eitkov s l\u00e1skou je naviazan\u00fdch na r\u00f4zne sp\u00f4soby utrpenia. M\u00f4\u017eu to by\u0165 momenty, ke\u010f n\u00e1m rodi\u010d nevenoval pozornos\u0165, odch\u00e1dzal, alebo n\u00e1s zosmie\u0161\u0148oval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nie\u010do teda celkom nehr\u00e1, ke\u010f vst\u00fapime do dospel\u00e9ho sveta a za\u010dneme si vybera\u0165 partnerov. Mysl\u00edme si, \u017ee h\u013ead\u00e1me partnerov, ktor\u00ed n\u00e1s urobia \u0161tastn\u00fdmi, ale tak to celkom nie je.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u013ead\u00e1me v skuto\u010dnosti partnerov, ktor\u00fdch spr\u00e1vanie n\u00e1m je povedom\u00e9, a\u017e d\u00f4verne zn\u00e1me. S ktor\u00fdmi c\u00edtime l\u00e1sku, na ak\u00fa sme zvyknut\u00ed \u2013 ako ju pozn\u00e1me. A to m\u00f4\u017ee by\u0165 ve\u013emi odli\u0161n\u00e1 vec od pomyselnej vysnenej l\u00e1sky, ktor\u00e1 by n\u00e1m mala prines\u0165 aj na\u0161e vyt\u00fa\u017een\u00e9 \u201c\u0161\u0165astie\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ako teda viete, \u017ee je to l\u00e1ska?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viete to, preto\u017ee sa rozhodnete<\/em> \u013e\u00fabi\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u00e1sku nec\u00edtite. Kon\u00e1te ju. L\u00e1ska s\u00fa skutky, nie pocity. S\u00fa to rozhodnutia, okamih po okamihu, je to op\u00e4tovn\u00fd pr\u00eds\u013eub. Viete, kedy milujete, lebo to rob\u00edte vedome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Investujete. Vynalo\u017e\u00edte nejak\u00e9 \u00fasilie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nie ste pomstychtiv\u00ed, malichern\u00ed, manipulat\u00edvni a \u017eiarliv\u00ed. Nie ste vz\u0165ahova\u010dn\u00ed a majetn\u00edcki, a ke\u010f d\u00e1vate, ne\u010dak\u00e1te nie\u010do na opl\u00e1tku. Prem\u00fd\u0161\u013eate aj v r\u00e1mci jeho potrieb. Podporujete ho. Dr\u017e\u00edte mu chrb\u00e1t. Akceptujete, dovo\u013eujete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viete, \u017ee je to l\u00e1ska, ke\u010f kon\u00e1te s l\u00e1skou, aj ke\u010f ste nap\u00e1len\u00e1. Ak sa \u201eneh\u00e1date\u201c, iba \u201enes\u00fahlas\u00edte\u201c.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u00e1ska je, ke\u010f sa nesna\u017e\u00edte vyhra\u0165 h\u00e1dku, ale dopracova\u0165 sa k spolo\u010dnej dohode.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Milujete, ke\u010f sa sna\u017e\u00edte pochopi\u0165, sk\u00f4r ne\u017e by\u0165 pochopen\u00ed, po\u010d\u00fava\u0165 a v\u00e1\u017ei\u0165 si to, \u010do hovor\u00ed, ne\u017e ho prevalcova\u0165 s vlastn\u00fdmi probl\u00e9mami. Ke\u010f ste v tom istom t\u00edme. Ke\u010f sa ospravedln\u00edte a odpust\u00edte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viete, \u017ee milujete, aj ke\u010f v\u00e1s to bol\u00ed, dokonca aj ke\u010f sa s vami roz\u00edjde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viete, \u017ee je to naozaj l\u00e1ska a nie iba zamilovanos\u0165 alebo n\u00e1ru\u017eivos\u0165, preto\u017ee ste sa tak rozhodli<\/em>. L\u00e1sku nec\u00edtite, ale kon\u00e1te. Po cel\u00fd \u010das.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tak \u010do, pre\u0161li ste?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Druhov l\u00e1sky je mnoho. Na to u\u017e pri\u0161li star\u00ed Gr\u00e9ci. Bavme sa o tej partnerskej. Mo\u017eno tieto riadky \u010d\u00edtate dychtivo, pripraven\u00ed n\u00e1js\u0165 odpove\u010f na ot\u00e1zku, ktor\u00e1 v\u00e1s u\u017e chv\u00ed\u013eu p\u00e1li. Mo\u017eno pozn\u00e1te odpove\u010f… no len pre istotu to chcete skontrolova\u0165… Milujete naozaj? \u010c\u00edtajte \u010falej. Ka\u017ed\u00e9mu z n\u00e1s sa nepodar\u00ed n\u00e1js\u0165 toho \u201eprav\u00e9ho\u201c alebo t\u00fa \u201eprav\u00fa\u201c….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3282,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,45],"tags":[49,29],"class_list":["post-3277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychologia","category-vztahy","tag-laska","tag-vztahy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3277"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3291,"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3277\/revisions\/3291"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3282"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karma-klub.com\/sk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}